The week that changed my life

It has been a while since I have updated my blog, and I want to appologize to my readers. These last few weeks have not only been demanding, but God had been uprooting basically everything I have ever known and I am learning to trust him through this time.

Worship week has got to have been my favorite week so far. In this time God showed me many thing that not only made me think twise about my own worship, but he showed me a deeper way to experience God while in the act of worship.

Let me start off by saying, I will now be calling sunday morning worship 'the act of worship' and when I say 'worship' I mean worship as a whole, and as a lifestyle.

Worship as a life style was somthing that completly flipped me upside down and everything I have ever known was thrown out the window. I didn't know that worship is suppost to be everything you do all the time, and I had no idea what that looked like, but slowly he is revealing that way of life to me and it is so rewarding and beautiful.

Another thing that blew my mind off was that reading the bible is actually vital to being a worshiper. I have to be honest when saying, while I was very excited to be a christian and to be with God, I was very very lukewarm, even when most people thought that I was on fire. I now know that that is because I neglected spending time and getting to know the father through his word. How else are we suppost to get to know someones voice if you never take time to build a relationship and never spend time with them in general.

Another thing that stuck with me from the week is that, as a worship leader, we need to be careful not to appoint musicians, but worshipers. Ill let that settle with you all for a minute.

When I got here, I thought that the worship here was crazy and over the top, I had no idea why people were crying, bowing, and screaming out. But now I do.

On friday we had a time of worship that I will never forget, and I believe that that was the first encounter with God I have ever had while in the act of worship. It was also refreshing that I was on the receiving end and not the leading end of worhsip, and though we were only watching a recorded concert, God worked through it.

At first, I was having a hard time, and that is beause in our culture, the act of worship is a sunday morning event, sometimes we miss it because its not our favorite part, somtimes we blame the worship leader for the lack of 'response and spiritual connection'. Sometimes we stand there with tired legs wondering when the last song will play. BUT THAT WAS NEVER THE POINT OF WORSHIP. and I would like to try to open your eyes like God did to mine.

If someone died so that you could live, you would do anything for them. If someone found your child after they were kidnapped for years, you would have a response. But if you think about it, Jesus died for us, to save us, because we were sinners and he was the only one fit for the job. AND he didn't just die, he ROSE AGAIN, so that we could be with him in heaven. *BOOM*

Did your mind explode? Did you dance, clap, sing, did you even thank God today?...

Why then are we so ashamed to show God response? Respond to the one that changed your life! Why are we so ashamed to respond in worship when God died for us and TOOK AWAY THAT SHAME.

Why are you giving into satans lie of fear?

God really worked in my heart that day, and after a few songs, God tore me apart, and it HURT. I had build up so many walls that blocked my emotions, and in one swift movement, God tore it down, and I cried for an hour or so straight. And through those tears God healed me.

God DESERVES my singing, my laughter, my tears.

God DESERVES my all, literally everything.

I understand now, and am saddened that I let myself fall into the lies of fear. And now I understand that God deserves me, all of me, and I cant hold it in. I will dance, I will scream, I will cry, I will bow down, and I will lift my hands to my King and Savior.

God doesnt deserve our yawns, he doesnt deserve church's full of people who care more about their facebook status then the spirit inside them

Praise is not silent my friends.

Meredith